Friday, July 30, 2010

4 weeks and counting….and counting….and….

That’s right, just about a month left until we are at the magical 36 week mark. 
I think Jayna is counting on the twins arriving at that time.  She is simply ignoring the fact that it is at least a possibility that she could carry them longer than that.  I try not to point that out because I get dirty looks just mentioning it.  Speaking of dirty looks, this evening I went to the grocery store to pick up some things we needed.  While I was there I received a frantic, somewhat irrational text message indicating that there was a dire emergency at the house.  Apparently the large pregnant woman was having a craving in a major way for some Ben and Jerry’s.  Cherry Garcia to be specific.  After a long detailed text message about the exact flavor, where it was located in the store and how it only came in pints and I was expected to return home with some, I found my way to the frozen foods section.  As explained to me there were pints of Cherry Garcia in the freezer and I dutifully placed one in the shopping cart.  Then it caught my eye.  They also have 3.6oz containers, complete with a mini me sized spoon for your Ben and Jerry’s on the go cravings.  My diabolical mind began whirring and I added the bite sized container to the cart.   Upon arrival at home, I raced into the living room and announced that I pulled the ice cream out when I was checking out so she wouldn’t have to wait another second to sooth her craving.  She was like a toddler on Christmas morning.  Her eyes lit up and you could see the giddiness radiating from her.   I produced the snack size container with my best “didn’t I do good” look.  Have you ever seen when someone was trying to be appreciative but just couldn’t pull it off?  That’s what this was like.  Her balloon was burst, her hopes dashed.  It’s like she asked for a pony for her birthday and received a bag of sticks.  But she pulled it together, thanked me and began destroying what little ice cream she had.  I apologized and informed her that Target was out of all the Cherry Garcia except THAT container, then went on with carrying the groceries in.  As I was unpacking the sacks of stuff, I sat the pint of ice cream on the bar without saying a word.  She was sitting in the chair, focused intently on that little container and savoring every morsel.  She looked right at the pint several times but it never registered with her.  She was nearly finished with her snack when she noticed it sitting there.  She called me several not so nice words, then attacked that little pint of ice cream like a momma bear.  Needless to say, I made a wide swath around her for a good hour.
It is a strange phenomenon, it seems the closer we get to the arrival, the more hectic our lives become.  I have to say I am a bit terrified to see what it is going to be like around here in just a few short weeks.  It is also strange to see our little girl change.  I don’t know if it has anything to do with the fact that the due date is racing up on us or if she is just growing up, but the sass level has dramatically increased and the all out kicking screaming fits seem to have subsided somewhat. 
Last night we all went to a baseball game at Drillers Stadium.  Jayna had been wanting to take miss thing for some time now.  Why she choose mid summer, 100 degrees and 8 months pregnant to be the appropriate time I will never know, but I have certainly learned to pick my battles these days.  We waddle in to the stadium, get the pregnant woman 8 hot dogs and find our seats.  Cinderella seems to be enjoying the game as well as watching all the people.  This appears to be one of her favorite past times, we have to continually tell her to stop starring at people.  All was well and good until she saw Hornsby, the Drillers mascot.  For some reason she has never liked mascot costumes.  The Chick-fil-A cow freaks her out to the point we almost can’t go there.  Hornsby was no different.  He’s a big blue cow and she wasn’t impressed.  She pretty much climbed me like a jungle gym and employed her famous death grip arm and leg hug.  The rest of the evening was spent intently keeping tabs on Hornsby.  There could have been fairies dancing in the infield and she would have had no clue.  Any time he would come our way she would climb in my lap and hang on for dear life.  When we finally got home that night, took our shower and got in to bed I was hugging her good night and she whispered in my ear.
“Daddy, I don’t like Horney”…
“I know sweetheart.  We made him stay at the game”
“Ok daddy, I had a really big day, I’m going to sleep now.  Can you make sure there are no monsters in my room?”
“Monster sweep, check.  Night Night.”
I don’t know where this whole monster thing came from but for the last few evenings she has asked us to make sure there are no monsters in her room.  Her mother had to suffice this evening because I was buying groceries.  Apparently, I’m better at it than mommy.  It is in some handbook somewhere.  Wouldn’t it be nice if kids came with a manual?
While I was out this evening Cinderella marches over to the end table by my chair in the living room.  She picks up the lapboard that I use with my laptop and says:
“This is my iPad, I’m going to go do some stuff.”
Now, most of you that know me know that this is probably one of the proudest moments of daddy-hood for me.  Maybe she’s going to be a big gadget nerd like her daddy.  It certainly pays better than social work.  As many of you who are friends with us on facebook probably are aware, this event sparked a debate between Jayna and I as to whether or not the darling child should indeed get an iPad.  Needless to say, the verdict is still out.  This may be one of those times when I make an executive decision and beg for forgiveness later.  We’ll just have to see.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

T-Minus 6 Weeks….ish….

And all hell is breaking loose. 

My wife's body is doing things that I thought were only possible in comic books.  I really hope for her sake these last few weeks progress quickly.  The heat index in Oklahoma has been well over 100 degrees for the past two weeks.  This doesn’t bode well when you are carrying an extra 20 lbs or so.  Jayna can get winded just thinking about getting up.

Shrek and Donkey are more like David and Goliath at this point.  Shrek is measuring 3lbs 6oz and Donkey is tipping the scales at 4lbs 8oz.  The doctor was a little taken aback by the large discrepancy in their size so he is sending us to the hospital for a “formal ultrasound.”  He indicated that if they were small babies he would be concerned but apparently she is growing Viking children.  He just wants to have another set of eyes take a look at the situation to make sure we don’t miss anything.   

Heh, I just called my wife’s belly a situation.  No, we’re not Italian.

Speaking of a situation.  I was getting ready to get in the shower this evening and Jayna comes in to the bathroom to brush her teeth.  As she approaches the vanity I see her reach under her belly with both hands and hoist it up to rest on the countertop like a sack of potatoes.  I am in disbelief.  She sees me looking at her and realizes what she has just done.  I can see the terror in her eyes.

“That’s going on the blog isn’t it?”

“Oh, that may as well already be on the blog it is so going on the blog!!!!”

We have many situations going on these days.  One of the other major situations around here is the sleeping situation.  On the lack there of.  For me, sleeping in the same bed with a 7 month pregnant woman is something similar to sleeping through a hurricane in a pup tent.  As a result, I have been somewhat cranky.  I’m sure many of you can testify to this, and I am sorry.  I suspect that is going to get worse in a few short weeks.  I will try to curb my crabbiness.

Cinderella is getting more excited by the day.  She talks about her little brothers every day and gives them a kiss goodbye in the morning before going to school.  We get daily reports from her teachers about what she did that day and the other day was particularly memorable, or terrifying, guess it depends on your perspective.  Apparently she was playing with a group of her friends, and they were playing house.  She announces to the entire class that she is the mommy and one particular little boy was the kid, and I quote, “that popped out of my belly.”  Really?  She’s 3.  All I have to say is, that’s on her mother.   These conversations are not ones that geeks handle well.

As I was just typing, Jayna just jerked and snorted a little.  I hear her laughing because she woke herself up.  Like I said, hurricane.

I’m signing off for now, I will post an update when we know more.  Our appointment at the hospital is tomorrow so we should have some more information then.