Monday, May 3, 2010

Catchin’ Up

Ok, it’s been a minute since I posted last.  Sorry about that.  Things have been a little hectic around here.  I’m sure that is about to get worse, but for now my nesting wife is keeping me plenty busy.  I am attempting to help her with her efforts because she won’t sit still for more than about four nanoseconds.

So here’s the run down on our life since we last met.


As many of you know I had LASIK surgery.  To say the least this was probably one of the best and most nauseating decisions I had ever made.  People poking on my eye balls gives me the heeby jeebs.  I arrived the day of the surgery and they gave me the little pill.  Let me reiterate, LITTLE, pill.  I was only mildly stoned when my name was called for my turn under the laser.  This was somewhat disappointing as I was hoping for a full blown memory erasing, drooling experience.   But no, I was muddled at best.

The doctor calls my name and I saunter into the operating room.  They sit you down and look through the little eye doctor thing and put little marks on your eye balls.  Not real sure what for, but they do it.  Then they lay you down on the operating table/couch/chaise lounge thing.  This particular reclining device is on a pole sit they can swing you back and forth between the two lasers.  They swing you under the first laser, lower a little ring down over your eye and instruct the nurse to apply suction.  I should probably add that they have numbed your eyes prior to this procedure but it still isn’t exactly what I would call pleasant.  And the drugs certainly didn’t eliminate all the anxiety.  As soon as the suction is applied, your vision goes gray.  You can’t see anything but the light.  The doctor tells you to remain very still and holds both sides of your head.  Really?  You holding my head with your hands is going to do the trick?  I’m a little scared.  The doctor, in a very calming and relaxing voice, repeatedly says “hold, hold, hold” while the nurse is counting down for what seemed like 45 minutes.  The doctor then tells me, and I quote:

“That’s a beautiful flap.”

I felt a little dirty.  It reminded me of some one liner I would have used on some unsuspecting girl at the bar in my younger days.  I think it’s probably easy to see why it took me so long to find a bride.

The doctor cut the flap on my other eye ball and swung me under the other laser.  At this point the suction device had been removed from my eye balls and the flap was flipped back waiting to be “lasered”.  A little orange light is blinking above.  The doctor instructs me to focus on the light.  The light goes from what appears to be in focus to nothing more than a blurry blob.  The laser whirs and spins up and starts snapping.  It does this about 15 times and with each pulse, the light becomes more focused.  It’s really kind of cool.  The doctor then lays the flap down and smoothes it out with a little spatula looking tool and repeats the process with the other eye.  A grand total of roughly 10 minutes from the time I entered the operating room, I leave with 20/20 vision.  They give me a sleeping pill and send me on my way.  I am SOOOOOO glad that’s over.

New Job (kind of)

As many of you know, I have started a new job.  Well, I have started a different job.  Well, I went back to SemGroup.  While I really miss everyone I worked with at CNE, I feel like I am in the right place for myself and my family.  This was quite possibly the strangest first week of any job I had ever started.  I am sitting in the same cube, with the same computer, the same phone number, the same email address, basically the same job.  It was like I never left, thanks to Tina viciously guarding my computer like she knew I would someday return.

Growing a baseball team

We recently had a doctors appointment.  As you might remember from a previous post, we are having twin boys.  Now, twins scare the bejeezus out of me as it is, but twin boys?  Oh dear.  I was kind of holding out hope that maybe the doctor was wrong.  I’m not sure what I was hoping for but let me say this, we are DEFINATELY having twin boys.  And they’re not afraid to prove it.  I suppose it’s time to reconcile that fact and prepare for the tornado that is about to descend on our home.  I joke that having a girl is like having a little pirate running around the house all day, but I suspect I’m about to experience the true definition of pirate.  And there will be two of them.

The little buggers are some active little suckers too.  Every time we have an ultrasound they look like they are riding bicycles or something.  Mom is starting to feel them as little muscle spasms.  She is convinced that in a couple of months she will be cursing them on a regular basis.  At this point Shrek likes to sit on her hip bone and Donkey is fond of head butting her in the ribs.

Another Year Older

My birthday is quickly approaching.  Cinco de Miko, as coined by my CNE brethren, is just around the corner.  I came in from work this afternoon and there was a large box with a bow tied around it sitting on the coffee table.  Jayna tells me happy birthday and points to the box on the table.  She informs me that it’s from Cinderella and that she picked everything out herself.  At this point my beautiful daughter is opening the box saying,

“Look what I got you daddy.”

“Well thank you sweetheart, what is it.”

“I don’t know daddy, let’s find out.”

Jayna looks confused and betrayed at this point.  I help the little one finish opening my gift and unpack what is inside.

4 High Ball Glasses, 4 Double Old Fashioned Glasses and a Wine Decanter.

I think she has a fairly accurate insight into what is about to happen to our family.

Have a good evening all and I will try to do better with the frequency of my posts.

1 comment:

  1. LASIK
    Doctor says, "That's a beautiful flap!"
    I cannot believe you missed the chance to say, "That's what she said!"

    I'll be vicously guarding a computer for you somewhere, always.


    I volunteer to break in the new glasses with you.