Wednesday, March 24, 2010

NEVER Say Never!

This has been the mantra for my life recently.  I’m starting to think my mojo has run out and something is conspiring against me. 

We did it today.  We bought a mini van.  Jayna and I had been discussing this for about 3 months now.  You know, after the double your pleasure, double your fun announcement.  Jayna has always been reluctant to buy a mini van.  That’s probably not putting it exactly right.  I believe NEVER was the exact phrase she used on more than one occasion.  I have to say, I was pretty much the same way.  I had never understood what would posses anyone to want a min van.  I mean come on, they make SUV’s, why would you need a toaster on wheels?  I’ll tell you why.  Have you ever tried to load two baby carriers and a 3 year old into a SUV?  Yeah, they have 3rd rows, but you have to be a very talented clown to get into them and when you do you have about two and a half inches of leg room.  And storage, forget about it.  Have you ever looked behind the third row of a mini van? It’s cavernous.  Perfect for that freaking twins stroller we have.  That thing looks like a road train.  You could smuggle a whole family out of Haiti in that thing.   That doesn’t bode well for me when Jayna goes to the mall.  That’s another blog. 

We went to the car show last weekend to look at these swagger wagons.   We decided if it were going to have to happen, we liked the Honda Odyssey.  I did my due diligence and requested quotes from several dealers online.  I was pleasantly surprised by the online quotes I received, so we were off to the dealership after work.  We drug the 3 year old in to the dealership, thank goodness, they have toys.  You would think they have experienced people like us before.  As some of you may have seen on my Facebook post, we stood there for about 30 minutes before anyone said boo to us.  I take that back, I finally spotted some dude crossing the showroom floor picking his toofs with one of the floss/toothpick things.  “Hey, do you want to sell a car or not?”  That got their attention.

I asked the salesman a few questions I had and then announced we wanted a test drive.  He went outside to pull the particular one we were interested in around to the front.  A few minutes later he arrived.  There it was in all its swaggering goodness.  I told him I was just going to let Jayna go with him because she would be driving it most of the time. 

“OH, did you want me to go with you?” the salesman asked.

“Um, of course not, I’ll just go get the car seat.”

Now, I have had dealers just toss me the keys to a vehicle before, but never in Tulsa.  I thought that was a privilege reserved for small town dealers that probably knew you and every member of your family for 4 generations back.  Apparently I was wrong.  You can also enter the dealership looking at a mini van with a 3 year old in tow.  I am no longer viewed as a risk.  Little bit of mojo just died.

“Ok, well be back soon.”

I pull out of the parking lot and begin the test drive, Jayna is in the passenger seat and the 3 year old is in the back jabbering like a broken record.

“You know Jayna, this thing rides pretty nice.”

“Yes, I was just thinking that, DAMN!!!”

“Also, it has all the bells and whistles you want, more than your current car even”

“Shut up Michael”

We finish the test drive in silence.  We switch and let her drive back to the dealership.  She parks that thing the first time with no paint swapping incidents.  She certainly can’t do that with my truck, much less a SUV. 

“OK, go buy it.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

I’m sure you have all experienced what came next, the haggling, trade in stuff, blah blah blah.  A little while later, all parties involved were pleased with the deal, now we wait.  Sign the papers and we’re out the door. 

At this point it’s about 9:00 pm and the 3 year old is melting down.  First order of business, brush her teeth, put on pajamas and hit the sack.  That’s taken care of, now we get all of the crap from her old car transferred over, figure out how to get it in the garage and come inside.  I change into some pajama pants and realize I’m really hungry.  My 14 week pregnant wife hasn’t eaten anything since lunch and she’s looking like she might not make it.  A quick scan of the fridge reveals nothing of interest. 

“I’ll go get us something” as I grab my wallet. 

“You’re going to go get food in your pajama pants?”

“Jayna, we just bought a mini van.”

“Good point, I’ll take a sonic burger with cheese”

I walk out in to the garage climb in to the mini van and drive off in to the night.  Oh yeah.


  1. Oh, it's all over now! You're officially OLD! Actually, I'm jealous! I want an Odyssey! Mine's not that cool! But it's still my mini-house on wheels! :)

  2. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not a mini-van!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You can borrow my LExus when you come visit:-)

  3. Don't I remember a toaster in your background.